My name is V***, I am married with young children and was a qualified professional in my
country. I did not work in England and was very isolated, my only contact being my husband and
children. My husband was very controlling and abused me financially and emotionally.
One day, he beat me and I called the police, they came and took him away. After extreme pressure
from my extended family, I agreed to drop the case and my husband was released. However, he
was angry with me for reporting him to the police and couldn’t forgive me. Although we are living
in the same house, we didn’t talk to each other resulting in a very tense situation. The situation
worsened and he would constantly ignore me and make me feel like I was worthless.
I am an ambitious person, I was always told that I am a highly intelligent woman and want to
pursue a degree that would allow me to work in my chosen profession in London. My husband is
a successful businessman and earns a fortune; however he refuses to support me financially and
pay for my tuition fees. I approached the job centre and other organisations looking for help with
these fees but they all told me that I wasn’t eligible for financial aid because my husband earns a
good salary. I felt helpless, powerless and trapped.
I was referred to Kurdish and Middle Eastern Women’s Organisation (KMEWO) by the police for
additional support from women who spoke my own language. I sought advice and help regarding
any study or work opportunities as I knew that was the only way to eventually escape my
husband’s control and become independent.
The steps KMEWO took to help me:
– A support worker was allocated to my case
– A risk assessment was conducted and a safety plan was discussed and agreed upon
– I was referred to a family solicitor to seek legal advice in case I wanted to divorce my husband
– I went with a support worker to the Housing Benefits to discuss my housing issues as our
current tenancy agreement was in my husband’s name.
-A referral was made for counselling in my native language and I started the sessions shortly
afterwards.
Realising my potential and skills, KMEWO helped me to find a volunteering opportunity and
to applied for a DBS check for me and offered me a volunteer position doing translation work
from English into Arabic. Later I became an active member of a support group in the community
and went on to complete KMEWO childcare course successfully. I also took an IT course and a
mentoring course and I now use this new skill to mentor vulnerable clients.
KMEWO’s courses empowered me and helped me gain confidence and self-esteem as well as
escape my isolation and loneliness. I made friends with other women that I met in the support
groups and courses. I now feel ready to make a positive change in my life.
Feeling stronger, I was able to challenge my husband’s controlling and abusive behaviour which
eventually led to him divorcing me. I confided in his family and told them of the financial and
emotional abuse I had endured at his hands all these years. My husband recently asked for
forgiveness and asked if I would him back. However, feeling strong, independent and in control
I am now thinking carefully about it and want to set conditions to be agreed upon in writing if I
were to accept.
Before coming to KMEWO, I was helpless and suffering in silence. The counselling I received at
KMEWO helped me to resolve my internal emotional conflicts and difficulties. KMEWO helped
me with my emotional issues via therapy, group support, meeting peers and making friends and
with my legal issues by giving me the chance to speak with a solicitor. KMEWO also helped me
progress with my quest for education by offering me free courses and training. Finally, KMEWO
increased my confidence by providing me with skills which has provided me with volunteer and a
mentoring opportunities.